Feudalism : You have two cows. Your lord takes some
of the milk.
Fascism : You have two cows. The government takes both,
hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Pure socialism : You have two cows. The government
takes them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you
as much milk as you need.
Pure communism : You have two cows. Your neighbours
help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Russian communism : You have two cows. You have to
take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Pure democracy : You have two cows. Your neighbours
decide who gets the milk.
Representative democracy : You have two cows. Your
neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
American democracy : The government promises to give
you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.
Capitalism : You have two cows. You sell one and buy
a bull.
Hong Kong capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three
of them to
your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt-equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping
five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
Totalitarianism : You have two cows. The government
takes them and
denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Anarchism : You have two cows. Either you sell the
milk at a fair
price or your neighbours try to kill you and take the cows.
Dictatorship : You have two cows. The government takes
both and shoots you.
