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Beer vs. Pussy
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| A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. * Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. * Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. * Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. * Advantage: Draw. If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. * Advantage: Pussy 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. * Advantage: Pussy. Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. * Advantage: Pussy. If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. * Advantage: Beer. If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. * Advantage: Beer. 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. * Advantage: Pussy Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. * Advantage: Draw It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. * Advantage: Pussy If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. * Advantage: Pussy With beer, bigger is better. * Advantage: Beer. Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. * Advantage: Beer. Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God. * Advantage: Pussy If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. * Advantage: Pussy Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. * Advantage: Pussy. If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. * Advantage: Draw If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. * Advantage: Beer. If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. * Advantage: Beer. The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. * Advantage: Pussy. The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. * Advantage: Beer. Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. * Advantage: Draw Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red Good pussy: Almost all but the above. * Advantage: Pussy. The government taxes beer. * Advantage: Pussy. It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. * Advantage: Pussy. |
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